Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Revamp
So, when I started this blog in 2012 it was about my New Years goals, and trying to maintain some accountability in achieving them. Needless to say, that didn't work out so well since I haven't posted since 2012, and it's now over half-way through 2013...and recently I've felt the need to process through some things. And what better way than to put it out to the internets?! Yeah maybe not my best decision, but there you have it.
Recently I've been struggling with some things. And I know in the grander scheme of things, they are not big things, but in my little corner of this grand big world, they're kind of huge. I am no longer happy in my job, for a variety of reasons. Which means that while I am struggling to try and make it work while I am there, I am also struggling to figure out what I'm going to do next. If I don't work in my current field, what will I do? Where will I be happy? The Starbucks I go to posts different questions so you can get to know the baristas there. Like, "My hidden talent is..." or "My favorite movie is..." but more recently they posted one that has stuck with me and I am trying to answer for myself. "If happiness was the national currency, what career would make you rich?" So I've been thinking about what makes me happy. Dancing, acting, coaching, putting things together (like furniture, or building stuff with Habitat), and taking pictures. These are the things that come to mind immediately - which then leads to how can I maybe make these things more prominent in my life? And I think part of the problem is that I have felt so stuck for so long it's hard to see ways to do this. The bitch of depression is that it sneaks up on you. You're going along, and as long as you keep busy you don't really notice it, but once you try and start making something different, it sneaks up and says "not so fast! remember me?!" And I think that's the main reason why I'm blogging about all this. To help talk myself out of this funk and finally get motivated to start making some changes. To help squash that sometimes rather loud negative voice that brings up all the reasons why not and makes all the excuses that keep you glued to the couch...
Speaking of the couch, brings me to the next thing I've been struggling with. Which is something most women struggle with. And somehow writing it down makes it seem even sillier than it is. But, let's be honest, we all struggle with what we look like, right? Men and women alike - we're all incredibly critical of ourselves. And when you fall outside of what is deemed 'attractive' by society standards, you're probably even more critical. Even though you know societies standards are more than effed up, you still compare. So, I was one of those girls who was skinny in high school, but thought she was bigger than she was. I always felt bigger than my friends. And now, I am bigger than most of my friends, which you think I would be prepared for. But mostly I just wonder how I got here. And how I can be happy with how I look. And give myself a break. I guess that's what this is all about, isn't it? Giving myself a break. And realizing that I'm doing the best I can.
And not settling for that being enough... but pushing myself to try and find that elusive happiness.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
True Confessions
Alright, so here it is. Last week I had kind of a breakdown. I was proud of myself cause I got home and found the motivation to do this workout DVD I have - Pilloxing, a mix of Pilates and Boxing. Its one of the only workout videos I don't want to kill the woman leading the routine, and it's a pretty good workout.. anyways, so I'm doing the workout and we have one of those Ikea bookcases with the reflective door and I catch a glimpse of myself. And just couldn't believe that's what I looked like. It was one of those moments I know many people have of "holy ssshhh that's what I look like?! when did that happen?!" And it threw me a little bit. I tried to keep going with the workout, but honestly, I was totally disheartened. And had a breakdown. I knew it was a full out breakdown when my cat (sweetie that he is) came over with this look like "mom? it's ok!" Yeah.. so I didn't do the workout full out, but I finished it. And just, felt so down. It's a crappy moment, and I know it wasn't entirely rational, but in the moment it just felt hopeless. And I know it's not at all, but ... well, I think you know what I mean.
The bright(er) side of this story is the next morning I was able to look at the situation with some perspective and thought it was time to weigh myself again since I hadn't done so in about a month. And I lost 5 pounds! Which is awesome! And if I keep up this pace, by the time I go to Hawaii, I'll have lost 15 pounds total, which is really good! Since then I have not done the Pilloxing video again. I will, I just needed some time away from it. It's also not always easy to find motivation to work out when I get home, which I know I've said repeatedly... but I'm working on it. I am. :)
Today I had my yearly physical and am in good health according to my doctor, so that is also good news. I've been feeling run down and achy, but not really sneezing or coughing, and she said it's probably to do with the cold I had in January - something is still working itself out of my system. So that is also hindering my motivation to do much when I get home. But doing some research about things to do in Hawaii made the trip just a little more real and will hopefully help jumpstart my motivation to continue on my path.
Since one of my goals is to be kinder to myself, and this hasn't been the most positive of postings, I will say that I have done much better about not eating out as much and when I do eat out I am making better choices about what to eat. I feel really good about that change I've made. Although I still have a ways to go, I am cooking more at home than I have in the past, so that also makes me feel good. And, even though I haven't been as consistent as I would like with it, I do make the effort to get up in time to do the Tai Chi warm-up. If I can ever get up in enough time to do the entire excersise I will be so thrilled. But I'll get there. I also bought cards today to send to friends randomly! So I am slowly but surely working on these goals of mine :)
Thanks again for continuing on the journey with me. It's a bumpy one, and I'm sure there are more bumps ahead, but I know I can face them and I know I will be the better for it.
The bright(er) side of this story is the next morning I was able to look at the situation with some perspective and thought it was time to weigh myself again since I hadn't done so in about a month. And I lost 5 pounds! Which is awesome! And if I keep up this pace, by the time I go to Hawaii, I'll have lost 15 pounds total, which is really good! Since then I have not done the Pilloxing video again. I will, I just needed some time away from it. It's also not always easy to find motivation to work out when I get home, which I know I've said repeatedly... but I'm working on it. I am. :)
Today I had my yearly physical and am in good health according to my doctor, so that is also good news. I've been feeling run down and achy, but not really sneezing or coughing, and she said it's probably to do with the cold I had in January - something is still working itself out of my system. So that is also hindering my motivation to do much when I get home. But doing some research about things to do in Hawaii made the trip just a little more real and will hopefully help jumpstart my motivation to continue on my path.
Since one of my goals is to be kinder to myself, and this hasn't been the most positive of postings, I will say that I have done much better about not eating out as much and when I do eat out I am making better choices about what to eat. I feel really good about that change I've made. Although I still have a ways to go, I am cooking more at home than I have in the past, so that also makes me feel good. And, even though I haven't been as consistent as I would like with it, I do make the effort to get up in time to do the Tai Chi warm-up. If I can ever get up in enough time to do the entire excersise I will be so thrilled. But I'll get there. I also bought cards today to send to friends randomly! So I am slowly but surely working on these goals of mine :)
Thanks again for continuing on the journey with me. It's a bumpy one, and I'm sure there are more bumps ahead, but I know I can face them and I know I will be the better for it.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Ack!
Ok, so yeah. It's been almost a month since I last posted. I believe I called that once the semester started this whole thing would be a lot harder. And I was right. Getting up earlier is more difficult, even though I know I feel better when I do my Tai Chi warm-ups. Finding time to do Just Dance or Wii Fit is more difficult. But change is supposed to be hard, right? Or, at least, a challenge. And I am trying to get back on track. Hawaii is about a month and a half away, so I still have time. And I have to keep remembering to be patient with myself. So - this is my first big hurdle. I had my inner Cathy Ack moment and I can move forward from here. I also know that it is not going to magically get easier. I am starting to get more motivated to find a gym, so I am moving in the right direction with that. I just need to figure out the finances.
As far as my other goals are going - they are on the back burner for the most part. I am trying to get better about being more positive and I definitely think that writing more here will help me accomplish that goal. I also think my work helps with that, constantly reminding the individuals I meet with to focus on the positive also helps remind me that I need to do that too :) I do have my goals posted at my desk at work (in a somewhat discreet location so no one but me can see them) and I have done better at looking at them at least once a day just to remind myself what they are.
The other thing I am trying to remind myself is that these are year goals. They are not going to happen in the first few months of the year. I intentionally set out with the mindset that it would take me a while to accomplish these goals, so I have to remember that as well. All too often I think it's easy to get swept up in the societal instant gratification mindset and expecting change to occur instantaneously. Maybe that's just me.. and now I feel like I am talking in circles. So thanks for staying with me on this journey, for being a support, and here it is a brand new month, ready to get back on track.
As far as my other goals are going - they are on the back burner for the most part. I am trying to get better about being more positive and I definitely think that writing more here will help me accomplish that goal. I also think my work helps with that, constantly reminding the individuals I meet with to focus on the positive also helps remind me that I need to do that too :) I do have my goals posted at my desk at work (in a somewhat discreet location so no one but me can see them) and I have done better at looking at them at least once a day just to remind myself what they are.
The other thing I am trying to remind myself is that these are year goals. They are not going to happen in the first few months of the year. I intentionally set out with the mindset that it would take me a while to accomplish these goals, so I have to remember that as well. All too often I think it's easy to get swept up in the societal instant gratification mindset and expecting change to occur instantaneously. Maybe that's just me.. and now I feel like I am talking in circles. So thanks for staying with me on this journey, for being a support, and here it is a brand new month, ready to get back on track.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
New habits take a while...
I think this is the one thing that trips people up when they are trying something new. Old habits are so much easier because they're comfortable, and, well, to be blunt, they're already habits! No wonder it's difficult to get rid of them! There will always be a growth time of developing new habits. And for me, one of the things I have to work on remembering is to post in my blog. I've actually done a really good, consistent job of updating my food diary, which has been great. I've also been doing a fairly good job of reminding myself that this is only the first week and if nothing else, this first month is the starting point. I do not have to make any drastic changes this month, just track what I'm already doing and then take inventory to see what adjustments I can make in February. I have also done a good job of making sure I get home on time, which means I have time to 'work-out' (read, Just Dance for the Wii) for about 45 minutes every night. Which is more physical activity than I have done in a while, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. I'm also SUPER excited that I'm coaching again!! I forgot how much I love volleyball, and how great it feels to play and coach, not to mention be up and active for 2.5 hours every Saturday. So that will DEFINITELY help with this whole getting in shape thing. I just have to keep at the Wii, either Just Dance or start the Fit program again, so that I'm being active a little every day. I'll get there.
I also realize that this is more than just improving my eating and exercise habits, so let's take a look at the other goals, shall we?? Being nicer to myself is an uphill battle, as it is with most of us, however I have been better about reframing what I'm saying to myself. Instead of "I suck at life because I didn't do xyz" I stop and say something more like "It's not the end of the world/You are not a horrible person/You are human, and it is ok." It's not easy, and I feel ridiculous, but I know these pep talks help in the long run. And I remind myself of my positive psych class, and how much better I felt when I was being positive towards myself instead of always being down... and that helps me to keep going. Being healthier I've already updated about - except for the researching part (hold please..) ok, so I looked into the gym near me.. and they do not list prices on their website anywhere. Which leads me to believe 'if you have to ask, you can't afford it'. That being the most convenient, I went to next convenient, and looked at the gym at the stop before mine on the T. Read a Yelp review which said $90 a month. Yikes! BSC is the next convenient, and that's $70 a month (with $60 down for a year membership, or $118 down to have month-to-month). Yeah, I'm gonna need to evaluate this whole gym situation. Is it necessary? Worth the cost? Will I feel comfortable going? Will I go? Well, I know enough to know that I won't go unless it is on my way home. So I think the $90 a month one is out, cause it's on my way, but not really. I realize I sound ridiculous and am being 'lazy' about going to the gym, but I prefer to think of it as being practical. I know myself well enough to know on the days I just want to go home and lounge on the couch, I'm not getting off a stop early. I will, however, feel guilty if I have to pass by the gym on my way home. So I'm leaning towards BSC. It's on the way. It's not horrifyingly expensive. We'll see. I'm not 100% on it... but at least I did the first steps of researching! Just need to keep thinking, and look at my budget, and all that fun real world stuff.
My goal of planning for the future is at a standstill at the moment. And I'm ok with that. I'm not trying to do everything all at once and burn out. Just good to remind myself that is there.
Communication - doing ok. Need to be better, but getting there. This is going to be a hurdle and once I cross it I'll be golden. It's just getting over the first few hurdles.... yeah... working on it...
Organization - desk got somewhat organized when I had to talk to someone from the State Dept about a reference for one of my students. It's not 100% organized, but it's a start. And my roommate and I are looking to re-organize the first level of our place next weekend, so that's also something. My room.... is another story.... and that is my mountain to climb this weekend :)
Ok, I should probably try to be mildly (work-related) productive... but... all in all feeling like 2012 is off to a good start. Ready to keep the momentum going, and stay on track!
2012... you will not conquer me.
I also realize that this is more than just improving my eating and exercise habits, so let's take a look at the other goals, shall we?? Being nicer to myself is an uphill battle, as it is with most of us, however I have been better about reframing what I'm saying to myself. Instead of "I suck at life because I didn't do xyz" I stop and say something more like "It's not the end of the world/You are not a horrible person/You are human, and it is ok." It's not easy, and I feel ridiculous, but I know these pep talks help in the long run. And I remind myself of my positive psych class, and how much better I felt when I was being positive towards myself instead of always being down... and that helps me to keep going. Being healthier I've already updated about - except for the researching part (hold please..) ok, so I looked into the gym near me.. and they do not list prices on their website anywhere. Which leads me to believe 'if you have to ask, you can't afford it'. That being the most convenient, I went to next convenient, and looked at the gym at the stop before mine on the T. Read a Yelp review which said $90 a month. Yikes! BSC is the next convenient, and that's $70 a month (with $60 down for a year membership, or $118 down to have month-to-month). Yeah, I'm gonna need to evaluate this whole gym situation. Is it necessary? Worth the cost? Will I feel comfortable going? Will I go? Well, I know enough to know that I won't go unless it is on my way home. So I think the $90 a month one is out, cause it's on my way, but not really. I realize I sound ridiculous and am being 'lazy' about going to the gym, but I prefer to think of it as being practical. I know myself well enough to know on the days I just want to go home and lounge on the couch, I'm not getting off a stop early. I will, however, feel guilty if I have to pass by the gym on my way home. So I'm leaning towards BSC. It's on the way. It's not horrifyingly expensive. We'll see. I'm not 100% on it... but at least I did the first steps of researching! Just need to keep thinking, and look at my budget, and all that fun real world stuff.
My goal of planning for the future is at a standstill at the moment. And I'm ok with that. I'm not trying to do everything all at once and burn out. Just good to remind myself that is there.
Communication - doing ok. Need to be better, but getting there. This is going to be a hurdle and once I cross it I'll be golden. It's just getting over the first few hurdles.... yeah... working on it...
Organization - desk got somewhat organized when I had to talk to someone from the State Dept about a reference for one of my students. It's not 100% organized, but it's a start. And my roommate and I are looking to re-organize the first level of our place next weekend, so that's also something. My room.... is another story.... and that is my mountain to climb this weekend :)
Ok, I should probably try to be mildly (work-related) productive... but... all in all feeling like 2012 is off to a good start. Ready to keep the momentum going, and stay on track!
2012... you will not conquer me.
Friday, January 6, 2012
snags in the road...
... are inevitable. And I hit my first two recently. I was hoping this wouldn't happen for a week or two, but it's ok. Not really set backs, just snags. The first was that I didn't post yesterday. Ooops. I thought about it when I was working on my practice plan for volleyball (I coach, and our first practice is Saturday) but knew I needed to get the practice plan done... so... I didn't post :-/
Snag #2 was this morning. I could not get up this morning, so no Tai Chi this morning. And I am feeling it. Tai Chi has been a great way to start my day. I feel more awake by the time I need to get ready for work, and feel ready to face the day. I am definitely dragging this morning. I feel like there's a fog in my head. Maybe I'll do some during lunch. Might feel weird to do Tai Chi in my work clothes, but something is better than nothing, right?
So to get caught up: yesterday was ok. I felt pretty good about it until I got my daily report from my food diary. I added a yogurt to my breakfast of oatmeal because it said I didn't have enough calories for breakfast the day before. And I made dinner again (had my leftovers for lunch AND resisted the free pizza that was offered later in the afternoon!) but apparently didn't do enough exercise yesterday. So that was a little disheartening, but not a huge deal. I see most of this first month as learning what I doing right and what I could be doing better. The elevator at work got fixed, so now I need to make the extra effort to take the stairs after seeing how much it helps me out. Today I added a banana to my breakfast instead of the yogurt, so we'll see how that affects things. Experimenting is fun! I need to keep in mind that except for Wednesday, when I had nothing to bring in for lunch cause I had just gotten back from vacation, I have made dinner everynight this week and brought leftovers in for lunch. That is a big step in the right direction, and one I need to continue!
I saw this quote the other day, and it's one I need to keep in mind: "The difference between try and triumph is a little umph." ~Anonymous I can do this! I've been good about recording my food and exercise in my food diary. I took the stairs this morning. I will be coaching tomorrow which will certainly help in the exercise department (yay playing volleyball!) and most importantly, I CAN DO THIS. And I will. With work, and dedication, and patience, I can get this ole body of mine into better shape.
2012 is mine! :)
Snag #2 was this morning. I could not get up this morning, so no Tai Chi this morning. And I am feeling it. Tai Chi has been a great way to start my day. I feel more awake by the time I need to get ready for work, and feel ready to face the day. I am definitely dragging this morning. I feel like there's a fog in my head. Maybe I'll do some during lunch. Might feel weird to do Tai Chi in my work clothes, but something is better than nothing, right?
So to get caught up: yesterday was ok. I felt pretty good about it until I got my daily report from my food diary. I added a yogurt to my breakfast of oatmeal because it said I didn't have enough calories for breakfast the day before. And I made dinner again (had my leftovers for lunch AND resisted the free pizza that was offered later in the afternoon!) but apparently didn't do enough exercise yesterday. So that was a little disheartening, but not a huge deal. I see most of this first month as learning what I doing right and what I could be doing better. The elevator at work got fixed, so now I need to make the extra effort to take the stairs after seeing how much it helps me out. Today I added a banana to my breakfast instead of the yogurt, so we'll see how that affects things. Experimenting is fun! I need to keep in mind that except for Wednesday, when I had nothing to bring in for lunch cause I had just gotten back from vacation, I have made dinner everynight this week and brought leftovers in for lunch. That is a big step in the right direction, and one I need to continue!
I saw this quote the other day, and it's one I need to keep in mind: "The difference between try and triumph is a little umph." ~Anonymous I can do this! I've been good about recording my food and exercise in my food diary. I took the stairs this morning. I will be coaching tomorrow which will certainly help in the exercise department (yay playing volleyball!) and most importantly, I CAN DO THIS. And I will. With work, and dedication, and patience, I can get this ole body of mine into better shape.
2012 is mine! :)
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
so far so good...
I know I just posted this afternoon... but am pretty proud of myself tonight, so I wanted to update! :)
I got off work on time (which, while not an official New Year's goal, is something I am going to try and be more consistent about this semester) which meant I got home at a reasonable hour. I did some dishes, MADE DINNER, and worked out while dinner was cooking! :-D I also signed up for MyFoodDiary.com which is a great website if you are looking for a way to track your food intake as well as your exercise output. My co-worker clued me into this site, and she really likes it and I think I'm going to as well. They have an intense listing of foods already in their system, and if they don't have what you need then you can manually enter it (and it saves it in case you use it again). They also have an intense listing of exercises from biking and dancing to walking and Tai Chi. I earned an extra 800 calories today from all my working out! And the elevator at work is out, so having to climb the stairs alone earned me about 300 calories. That might be motivation enough to keep using the stairs even after the elevator is fixed. So long as I don't succumb to peer pressure ;o)
Alright... I feel pretty good at the end of my first day. I know it is the first of many, but I'm hoping this good feeling will keep going. And if nothing else, on the days ahead when this gets hard and frustrating, as I know it will, then I can look back on this entry, remember this feeling, and pick myself up and keep going.
2012, here we go! :)
I got off work on time (which, while not an official New Year's goal, is something I am going to try and be more consistent about this semester) which meant I got home at a reasonable hour. I did some dishes, MADE DINNER, and worked out while dinner was cooking! :-D I also signed up for MyFoodDiary.com which is a great website if you are looking for a way to track your food intake as well as your exercise output. My co-worker clued me into this site, and she really likes it and I think I'm going to as well. They have an intense listing of foods already in their system, and if they don't have what you need then you can manually enter it (and it saves it in case you use it again). They also have an intense listing of exercises from biking and dancing to walking and Tai Chi. I earned an extra 800 calories today from all my working out! And the elevator at work is out, so having to climb the stairs alone earned me about 300 calories. That might be motivation enough to keep using the stairs even after the elevator is fixed. So long as I don't succumb to peer pressure ;o)
Alright... I feel pretty good at the end of my first day. I know it is the first of many, but I'm hoping this good feeling will keep going. And if nothing else, on the days ahead when this gets hard and frustrating, as I know it will, then I can look back on this entry, remember this feeling, and pick myself up and keep going.
2012, here we go! :)
Here we go...
Ok, so here it is. 2012. A new year. A new start? That's the hope. I've never really been one for the new year's resolutions. I mean, I always make them just like everybody else does and by about January 10th (again, like most everyone else), I'm like "what resolutions??" Or, more precisely "didn't I make some resolutions? what were they again?" I've always had in the back of my head that making new year's resolutions was a bit, well, overrated. I mean, we all make them, we all break them, and say we're never gonna do it again... but do... kind of a vicious cycle, no?
So this year, I decided to make some goals for myself. Using my Sport Psych knowledge, my hope is that by calling them goals I will have a better chance of attaining them past January 10th. My second hope is that I will be able to keep myself accountable by keeping this blog. I am not counting on anyone to read this... if you do, great! Thanks! :) I am really good at starting things, but terrible at finishing them (see my scrapbook of a trip I took in 2002 that is still unfinished... 10 years later... YIKES) so I figured I needed to hold myself accountable, and the only way I could think of doing that was this blog. I'll be honest on here. I'll probably be too hard on myself. But hopefully, by this time next year, I'll be better for it. So here we go (in no particular order, and keeping in mind that all goals should be SMART goals: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely). Super Chele's (positive psychology at work here) Goals for 2012:
Now, I realize this is a massive list. And for being one that scoffs at new year's resolutions, I also realize most of mine are stereotypical... however, all that being said... I think I can do this! I just need to dig deep, find the motivation, and just get my butt in gear. I've never really been able to appreciate the notion that we can start anew. Well, that's not true. I have been able to appreciate this notion however the notion has not usually struck me at the New Year. For me it hits around the summer, which is probably because my life is so academically focused September feels like a second New Years. But this year I'm embracing the idea that I can change. And that I can be honest about it. I debated about whether to post this anonymously under a different email, but that's not what this is about, is it? It's not about hiding who I am, or what I want to accomplish, but holding myself accountable, and being honest about all these things. So... there it is. My New Year's goals. I'm not sure what format these posts will take, and will probably change as my mood strikes... so hang with me if you care to!
Step One: I got up earlier than usual this morning to do Tai Chi my mom taught me while on vacation. I was only able to do the warm ups this morning but it was great to get up and do something this morning, and it incorporates meditation, so I feel good about continuing this goal! :)
2012, here we go!
So this year, I decided to make some goals for myself. Using my Sport Psych knowledge, my hope is that by calling them goals I will have a better chance of attaining them past January 10th. My second hope is that I will be able to keep myself accountable by keeping this blog. I am not counting on anyone to read this... if you do, great! Thanks! :) I am really good at starting things, but terrible at finishing them (see my scrapbook of a trip I took in 2002 that is still unfinished... 10 years later... YIKES) so I figured I needed to hold myself accountable, and the only way I could think of doing that was this blog. I'll be honest on here. I'll probably be too hard on myself. But hopefully, by this time next year, I'll be better for it. So here we go (in no particular order, and keeping in mind that all goals should be SMART goals: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely). Super Chele's (positive psychology at work here) Goals for 2012:
- Be kinder to myself
- "You're so mean when you talk/About yourself, you are wrong/Change the voices in your head/Make them like you instead" ~P!nk, F***ing Perfect, one of my theme songs for this year
- Make time for doing something for self at least once a month (e.g. manicure, massages, etc.)
- Be healthier
- Do Tai Chi exercises (or at least warm ups) every morning (I also consider this part of the above goal)
- Cook at home more than eat out each week
- Use Wii Fit at least twice a week
- Look into gym near house - if not possible, think of alternatives
- Plan for the future
- Sign up for Retirement plan at work
- Pay off credit card by end of year
- Only use when can pay off immediately and regular monthly payment
- Look at what else is out there
- Relocate?
- Elsewhere in Boston?
- Talk to others in field about ideas/possibilities
- Be more communicative
- Call friends at least twice a month
- Be more proactive about making plans with local friends
- Send cards just becase at least once a month
- Get (and stay) organized
- At work - start with desk!
- At home - get to Ikea and Container Store and spend time each weekend organizing
- Be more social!
- Go to at least one Meet Up event a month
- Be more proactive about dating
Now, I realize this is a massive list. And for being one that scoffs at new year's resolutions, I also realize most of mine are stereotypical... however, all that being said... I think I can do this! I just need to dig deep, find the motivation, and just get my butt in gear. I've never really been able to appreciate the notion that we can start anew. Well, that's not true. I have been able to appreciate this notion however the notion has not usually struck me at the New Year. For me it hits around the summer, which is probably because my life is so academically focused September feels like a second New Years. But this year I'm embracing the idea that I can change. And that I can be honest about it. I debated about whether to post this anonymously under a different email, but that's not what this is about, is it? It's not about hiding who I am, or what I want to accomplish, but holding myself accountable, and being honest about all these things. So... there it is. My New Year's goals. I'm not sure what format these posts will take, and will probably change as my mood strikes... so hang with me if you care to!
Step One: I got up earlier than usual this morning to do Tai Chi my mom taught me while on vacation. I was only able to do the warm ups this morning but it was great to get up and do something this morning, and it incorporates meditation, so I feel good about continuing this goal! :)
2012, here we go!
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